Pitof? Pitof?? What kind of a name is that for a film director? And what kind of a film if CATWOMAN? Well, it? not a great film by any stretch of the iamgination – but it? also not as laughably bad as the Press made out when it slunk into the cinemas last year, lapped up half a saucer of warm milk and then sloped off again before getting run over by a bus. ErUwhere was I? Oh, yes, CATWOMAN – it ain? good but it really ain? so bad.

The problem is that it? really entirely pointless. The film seems to have been on and off drawing boards since Michelle Pfeiffer locked claws with Michael Keaton? Batman in BATMAN RETURNS back in 1992. Now it? finally arrived and all resemblance to any Catwoman ever seen anywhere is entirely non-existent. This is a new, rebooted Catwoman and at the end of it, mildly amused and entertained as you might well be, it?l be hard not to wonder exactly why anyone bothered.

Patience Phillips (Halle Berry – remember that Oscar, Halle? Long time ago now, right?) is a put-upon designer in a cosmetics company. She accidentally discovers that the company? revolutionary new face cream has unpleasant side effects. She? murdered for uncovering the grisly truth. Fortunately, after being flushed out of the building, she? licked back to life by magic cats. No, really, stop laughing at the back there?n

Patience starts to exhibit feline habits – sleeping on top of the cupboard (it? true!), picking fights with dogs? She also has incredible cat-like agility which, naturally, she uses to fight crime. She fashions herself a commendably-skimpy superhero costume andUer?ights bad guy Sharon Stone who, due to the deadly face cream, can feel no pain. Presumably she? one of the few who enjoyed watching CATWOMAN.

CATWOMAN is just a seriously stupid film. The script isn? bad, the direction (Pitof??) is decent enough and the cast are okay – Halle is actually quite good and Frances (SIX FEET UNDER) Conroy adds some desperately-needed class to the whole endeavour. However, much of he CGI is monumentally awful (I could do better on my own PC and I have no idea how CGI is done) and some of the action sequences are curiously clumsy. As Catwoman hilariously sashays away over the rooftops at the end of the film it? hard not to wonder just why this movie ever got made (presumably on the back of the superhero film craze?ut did no one show them DAREDEVIL??) and why it got made like this.

THE DISC: Good picture and excellent 5.1 sound mix but the extras are forgettable – in fact, I?e forgotten them all except the featurette on the visual history of Catwoman introduced by the bizarre Eartha Kitt. Miaow!! Holy cat litter!! I want the BATMAN TV series on DVD and I want it now!]]>

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